The day I was discriminated at a well-known department store

Everything was great except the heavy rain in the morning. I had shopping plans but I had to delay it to the afternoon since traffic in rain can be a big pain. I prefer shopping without kids but my 4 yr old daughter's school has already entered summer break. So, I picked up my first grader from school and went to the Valley Fair Mall in Santa Clara, CA.

First, we tried some stuff for kids even bought a little present for our 4 year old one. And then, I move to the biggest department store in the mall to see if they had the shoes --I had been eyeing for a while-- in the clearance section of the store. After a quick search,  voilà, it was right there on the rack. There was a blue pair and a dark pink pair, one being half a size small and one being half a size big for me, both of which could work OK. I tried both and thought I like the blue one better. A sales person named M****n was passing by and looked at me. And I immediately asked him if I could get the left shoe too to try. He came back 5 minutes later with the pair. Well, my 4 year old daughter was not happy with my choice. To her, pink is the color for the girls and I should get pink. She got angry with me as I did not get her advise and went away -- still being at a range I could see her. I began looking around some more and suddenly saw a pink one at my size located in the wrong rack showing a completely different size. I immediately took it to the same sales person and asked him if he could get the left shoe to me so that I could give my final decision. He said "in a minute" and I began waiting.


My 7 year old son wanted to keep a closer eye on his sister and began chasing her whereever she went so that "noone would grab her". I told him I could see her but he was not satisfied. Well, she was not happy with him following her so she kept complaining about this. Of course, the kids' patience was running out too as more time passed. There were numerous sales men helping out others but no one was asking me why I was waiting for so long. Our salesman, M****n, was not coming back either. I was trying to convince one of my kids that "mommy would try the pink one and would buy it if she likes it" and the other one "his sister would be OK even if he does not follow her". Finally, they sat on two different sets of chair in the huge floor of department store and were not walking anymore. I grabbed another sales person and told him I couldnot wait any longer and M****n had disappeared. He went and searched for M****n. Some other sales people said they did not know where he was. Finally he -M****n- came back (about half an hour later since he told me "in a minute") and said he could not find the pair. I said "OK I'll buy the other one then". Suddenly, he said "Let me look again, OK?". Before I could say anything he was gone and came back with the pair in 2 minutes. He said "Oh they were not in where I looked and I looked somewhere else and I was able to find them". I was puzzled by all this but I did not have time to play conspiracy theories in my mind. So, I put them on. As I was looking at the mirror, an old and wealthy looking Asian-American lady came to me and began waving her arms at me angrily. "Get your kids and leave here. We don't want them here". I looked at her but could not say anything because I was quite shocked. But then she went to a distance and began shouting at me the same words from there waving her hands at me. She was saying they don't want to hear the noise my kids were making, particularly my 4 year old one who was calling me "mommy!" to complain about her brother's every move or the color of my shoes. The lady was getting quite rude. So, I spoke up "I'm sorry but this is not a library. We're about to leave anyways". My kids were completely quiet at that moment anyways.


Suddenly, a white American lady next to her, carrying a Louis Vuitton bag and having a kinda reserved sales person, who was helping her to try 5-6 shoes from the clearance section, jumped in and began shouting at me. "Excuse me but you have very annoying children. I cannot concentrate on trying on shoes because of them. You cannot bring your children here. People are shopping here. I have 5 kids and none of them are like this. They are all well behaved". I was so offended. I said "Oh really?". "Really!" she replied. "You canot come to this store with your kids and try shoes here when they are making noise and walking around". I said "Waiting here all this time is not my fault. I am not happy about it either. Plus, is this a library or hospital? People walk and talk all the time". She raised her eye brows and rolled her eyes "This is Nordstrom!", meaning only classy people with incredibly well-behaving children could shop there. "I don't see any signs saying 'No Children Allowed' or 'Quiet'" I said. She raised her voice even more to get more attention "If I had behaved like a child in this store, I would be asked to leave. So, you should be asked to leave". She was checking around to see if any of the store personnel would take this request seriously. During this time, her early teen daughter said "I want to wait for you over there mom. I don't want to stay next to you" and left. "Waiting here all this time is not my fault" I said "I have been waiting too long for the salesman to come back and it took him half an hour. So, I am sorry for your discomfort". She said "No, 'I' am sorry 'for you'" showing my kids to me meaning she pities me for being the mother of them. "Mind your own business please" I said. That moment my daughter called me "mommy". And this lady began making a little girl's voice and started shouting at the top of her voice "Mommy!! mommy! I wanna cry mommy!! Wah wah mommy!!". Her daughter came back. Then the lady looked at her and said "I do not wanna shop here today. Let's go" and left. I thought she left the store but she was apparently talking to some store employees about me before she left. The Asian-American lady was still there and was sending me sour looks while I was paying for my shoes. Before and while all this was happening all other customers in the department store was peacefully trying on shoes and these two ladies were the only ones who had problem with concentration.


Well,  on top of everything, the pair I chose was by mistake had been put on the clearance rack. Only one color of that model was in sale. I was feeling so sad for all the things happened and all the harrassment I took and it was for a pair of shoes I thought was in clearance but it was not. The sales person --the one who found M****n for me-- was doing the check out. I was about to go grab the ones that the color did not work out instead of the ones I liked just for the sake of getting out of there. He stopped me and said he will give me the ones I have for the sales price. When he was giving me the receipt, he quietly told me "Sorry for everything". I said "Sorry for any inconvenience my kids caused". He again quietly said "No, we're sorry. It's our fault. We should have helped you much earlier with the shoes. And unfortunately we sometimes have some very rude customers".


I guess if I've not heard those words from him I would have never shopped in any of the chain's stores ever again. I knew that if I'd been a LV carrying or Jimmy Choo wearing white American lady, me and my kids would be overly tolerated there. But this is the second time in the same store that when I ask for my shoe size for a shoe the sales person goes and never comes back for help while all other customers are being helped sharply. Last time, I had just left there after waiting for half an hour and bought the shoes from Amazon instead. In the fragrance section, when I try on some fragrance testers, I am being followed with this fake grin on the sales ladys' faces as if I am going to steal one of them. So, I prefer going to Sephora instead. I try the ones I wanna try freely and purchase fragrance there just because I do not feel despised over there. One of the sales ladies in Fragrance section of the same Nordstrom, --after learning I am a Muslim from Turkey-- recently shocked me asking if I would make my 4 year old daughter to cover her hair when she grows up. When I said it is up to her, she said "Well, let me tell you then. She won't. She should not. She has a beautiful hair." Well, I think the job of the sales people should be helping customers not commenting on how they should practice their religions. And worrying about a 4 year old's hair being covered is just ignorant.


To cut it short, I am very thankful for the sales guy who apologized on behalf of his friend and the two customers harassing me but if the sales people in that particular department store does not stop profiling customers, I do not think I'd feel comfortable enough to shop there again.